Wednesday, October 1, 2008

So...what has been happening in my ask...well, here go's

"Father, break me, split my heart open, pour me out, open my eyes,
my ears to your will for me, for my life. May I decrease,
so that you may increase, be a lamp unto my feet,
help me Lord Jesus"

So, let me outline this blog for you.

If you haven't seen the new movie Fireproof, please, please go see it. Married or single, it has a lesson for everyone, and can be applied to all walks of life, in any type of relationship. It debut last weekend at Number 4 in the box office, which boggled Hollywood... My only response to that, the scripture is more powerful than your script Hollywood. Think about that.

My Mother and Step-Father are separating. After almost 12 years they are walking away, throwing in the towel, however you want to put it. To me, they are simply giving up and being cowards. But I have yet to, and will not let there decisions affect me. That's that.

Our pastor officially resigned his position on Sunday morning. Sending a shock wave through the church. I am torn, I am confused, but most of all I am broken.

And now, my attempt to capture all the thoughts
and emotions surrounding these points:

I have been asking God to break me for a long time now. And he has finally done so. And honestly, I was not prepared for just how broken I would be...Let me explain.

I have recently started a new college age / young singles Sunday school class, my wife and I have recently started singing in the choir, we have recently made some new relationships with others in church, and it was all based on us feeling that's what God wanted for us, and I still believe that is true, But I had the audacity to stand up in God's face, point my finger, and say, "You break me now, right now, REALLY"
Gosh, how stupid and selfish am I.

"Didn't you ask to be broken?"
Yes Father, I did.

This just reminds me that God does provide, but he does so in His time, not ours.
But in the brokenness, is a closeness to God I haven't experienced in a long time, and still my prayer to Him,
"Father break me more"

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matt. 11:28 KJV)
But seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matt. 6:23 KJV)

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